I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
