You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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