OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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