I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
