I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
