Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
