how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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