Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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