Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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