We named our party play list daddy issues
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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