just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
