i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They are going to name an STD after you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
