But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
