I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
