Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
