We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
