i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
