And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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