I can tuck mytits in my pants
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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