remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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