Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need to sanitize my soul.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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