I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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