ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
