He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
