I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
