Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
