Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
