I must be too annoying 4 u.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I had to cum in my sink.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
