Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My underwear smells like fireworks.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
