Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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