College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
