dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
