i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
