he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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