Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
