I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
