you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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