there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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