so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
