I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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