Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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