I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Randomize
