think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
