I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
