i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
