may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
