oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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