im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
