I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
