This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
